Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize