jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
