I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
