dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
