I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
