Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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