i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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