i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
