I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
