the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
