I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she told me i tasted like america
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
