His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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