It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Even my vagina gasped.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
