return my video game
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This baby is an asshole
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize