saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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