Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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