I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's the barista slut.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
