Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
