I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
