She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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