Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
