me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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