Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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