Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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