she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
