Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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