Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
