We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
