I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize