You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize