Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
