walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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