the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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