YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
