I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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