I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you told grandpa to call you daddy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
