I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
