yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
