She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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