Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Fuck appropriateness.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
