Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
