Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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