I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
