Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is the high leading the old right now
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize