Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
