It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
