Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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