I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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