Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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