I'm lost and stupid without you.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize