jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
