Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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