OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
