No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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