You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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