i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
