i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
