i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
