Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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