Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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