i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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