Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
