i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
