ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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