HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
