Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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