Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
