as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i out mim tonsoeep
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
