Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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