For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
