i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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